Shards of Glass
by criesofthefallen
Summary: AU.SLASH. Harry's never been one to fall so easily, but it's something in those eyes. Companion piece to "Pieces of Me." HPxSN
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I_ _own nothing so don't bother suing. This is __**slash**__ so decide if it's what you like if not leave. HPxSN_

Enjoy.

Shards of Glass

He lay in his bed wishing the day would just piss off and wait. He really didn't feel like getting up and dealing with people today, not even Kira. God knew he loved the girl to death but today was just going to be one of _those_ days. He could feel it. Groaning as Kira pounded on his door he stretched lazily and curled into his comforter. The pounding on his door stopped and the blessed silence lasted for maybe a minute. Kira burst into his room and he could feel the waves up cheerfulness and energy radiating from the girl. The sheer _audacity_ of morning people. Oh how he loathed them. He pouted as his warm blanket was taken away and he got a hair full of dark brown hair in his face as Kira jumped on him.

Emerald eyes blinked open to stare at dancing brown eyes. Smiling despite being so tired he kissed her on the forehead and pushed her off. Unfortunately, running a coffee shop meant you had to get up for people who didn't know that one had to respect the Saturday. Oh no, people had to get up at god forsaken hours for _coffee_. Well, he shouldn't complain too much, seeing as he did make good money out of it. He showered and changed into his work clothes, the uniform and combination of black slacks and white button up with a dark purple vest on top. He made his way into the shop and began to warm everything up and start the first brews of the day. Kira was already pulling out cookies, muffins, and bagels out of the oven; the rest of the pastries already set out on display. Humming, he looked up an hour later to see the morning pack standing impatiently outside the doors. He gulped slightly and looked back to make sure Kira and the others were ready.

Sighing as he slowly unlooked the doors, he quickly stepped out of the way as the crowd poured in. Moving behind the bar, he sighed thinking it was going to be a long day.

_*Page Break*_

It was late morning when the door chimed announcing the arrival of another customer. Making his way around the shop he looked towards the door and noticed a man standing there. Blushing slightly at the stranger, he couldn't help but note how sexy he was. The thought alone made his blush darker. Kira bumped into him and winked. Scowling he smoothed his face into a pleasant smile and made his way over to tall-dark-and-handsome, well, compared to him anyways. "What can I get for you?" A smile firmly in place, hazel-green eyes turned to look at him. He felt a flutter in his chest, _those eyes._ The smirk on the mans face fell away as he stared at Harry, "Sir?" he ventured questioningly. Maybe he wasn't ready to make his order? Harry thought as he prepared to excuse himself. "Uhhh, yeah. An expresso double shot...please." I could hear the after thought and smiled as I went to fill his order. He made the order swiftly, telling himself he always worked this efficiently. It had nothing to do with those eyes. "Hey Ry, Luke is here and needs to talk to youuuuu!" Kira said brightly. Smile dropping slightly he nodded and sighed, "Take this over to table four for me?" Kira nodded and pecked him on the cheek, extremely affectionate that one.

Shaking his head he made his way to Luke and frowned as he say the look of sadness on his face. That look was almost as strange as a solemn Kira. Neither was right. Slipping onto Luke's lap he smiled softly, "Hey, Luke..." Blue eyes looked back at him with deep sadness, "My father passed away. I, I don't know what to do Ry, Would he want me there? He told me never to go back if I left?" Harry felt his heart break for his closest friend besides Kira, hugging him close to him, Harry murmured assurances as he felt tears soak his shirt. The bell jingled and his attention went to the door, watching the stranger with green eyes. Even as he felt guilt fill him for being distracted when Luke clearly needed him, he couldn't help but think there was something about those eyes.

_*Page Break*_

Harry cracked his back as he shifted in place, wiping the last remnants of sleep from his eyes. It was that dream again, warmth and love and an aching need. And those eyes. The same eyes he couldn't stop thinking about since that day at the shop. He had seen those eyes before, he knew it. But he very much doubted he could forget eyes like that on a _man_ like that. It was impossible, yet there he was for what seemed like the millionth time in weeks, dreaming about those eyes. Frustrated he growled, dammit he needed a life. Running the shop and writing just wasn't enough. Looking at the time he thought a good run would help. He hated running with a passion, but lately that was the only thing that kept his mind off the stranger and the thoughts of his past that were dredging up. The last thing he needed right now was another emotional breakdown, he didn't want to put Kira through that. She'd done enough for him already, pulling him away from his depression hadn't been easy. It was difficult for him but watching him and forcing him to live again must have been harder. He thought so.

Running through the streets he decided to head up the hill on the way to his house, it was only half a mile away anyways. Sprinting he felt a sense of elation fill him as he felt the rush that accompanied his runs. The crunch of gravel and the wind wiping around him kept all unwanted thoughts away, giving him peace. If only for a while. Near the top he pushed himself further and slid to a stop. The view up here was amazing, by far his favorite place in all of Santa Clara. Smiling he turned toward his bench, only to stop short as he saw the figure of a man. The man moved and he blinked a few times, wondering if he was seeing things. Smiling once he realized the stranger was really there, pinching himself helped, he stepped forward hesitantly. He was surprised at seeing him again, most travelers never came back. "Hello." Harry said softly.

The man on the bench stared back of him, cheeks flushed from the cold. "Hello." Awkward silence ensued. Harry shifted slightly from foot to foot and felt his face grow warm as he realized he was all sweaty and probably smelled too. He felt mortified. "Would you like to sit down? I mean, you can join me. If you want. That is...never mind." Harry was startled out of his thoughts as the stranger babbled and starting moving back, heading to the Impala. "Wait!" The stranger turned back and looked at him, "How am I supposed to join you if your walking away?" Harry said smiling. The stranger smiled crookedly and slowly made his way over to the bench. Both of them sat side by side and looked out at the lights of the city below them. "So..." "Do you come by here..." They both stopped and laughed. Gods above, this felt so cliched. The stranger held out his hand, "I'm Dean. Dean Winchester." Harry looked back at him and felt himself blush slightly, "Harry Potter." His magic reached out and embraced Dean as he took his hand. He felt sparks and a strange feeling to elation at the contact. He look at Dean surprised and saw a mirror image of confusion.

_Something had mended and healed within them, something they hadn't even known was broken._

_*Page Break*_

Sweet humming filled the shop as the lunch crowd faded until only a few stragglers were left. The occasional la-la or oh-ohh was thrown in there for good measure. Kira looked over at the petit man with narrowed eyes. She took in the lean muscle encased in smooth porcelain skin and the full pink lips molded into a perpetual state of bliss. There was something fishy going on here and she planned to get every last detail from her little brother. Smirking, she slinked up to him silently, and her suspicions heightened as Harry didn't even _notice_ her approach. Wrapping tanned arms around the shorter male, she whispered 'Boo!'. The green eyed man jumped and glared at her for all he was worth. It was extremely amusing seeing as he looked like a sad-pouting puppy whenever he did so. "Tell me _everything._" She purred.

Green eyes blushed and squeaked cutely at how close she was, "Tell? Tell what? Their is absolutely _nothing_ to tell?" Raising a finely arched eyebrow she scoffed audibly, yeah right. "And I'm the Queen of England. Try that on someone else!" Green eyes shifted in guilt. Looking up at her through long dark lashes, he mumbled "Imetaguyand he'!" Kira blinked a couple of times slowly, processing what the midget had said, as she trapped him between her arms and the bar. Brown eyes widened as she processed what Harry had just said, "Say what?" Harry seemed to be in blush mode because he wouldn't stop blushing! "I said that I met a guy and we are going on another date." He said calmly. She raised another eyebrow, "And?" she said expectantly. Ducking his head he mumbled, "and I really like him?" Kira was extremely amused at this point. She squealed excitedly as she hugged the tiny brunette. She was so happy for him, he deserved to be happy. "So what time is he picking you up?"

Harry looked up at Kira amazed. He had dreaded telling her, knowing how over protective she was and expecting her to object at dating a stranger. Oh, right. She didn't know he was from out of town. But he had stayed there for a week already, so maybe he'd be making it permanent? He was relieved knowing she was okay with things and allowed her to help him get ready. And when Dean picked him up nervously pulling at his sleeves with flowers in his hands, he took them and excused himself to place them in water. He smiled and pretended not to hear Kira's sarcastic, "What is he, a girl now?You do know he's male right? Even is he does look a bit feminine." He shook his head and laughed silently at Dean's stuttered reply. As he walked out the door, hand in hand with Dean, he pretended not to notice how pale he'd become after Kira had explicitly told Dean what she would do to him should he hurt Harry. As Kira watched them leave she thought she might just like this Winchester, he wasn't acting like himself and that was very telling. They would find something so beautiful and absolute in each other. Even if they had to suffer some a long the way. Sighing sadly she knew it was inevitable. You couldn't fight fate.

Dinner was perfect and the movie afterwards was great. He hadn't enjoyed himself so much in so long, it was like a breath of fresh air. He couldn't help but look into those eyes and smile, he felt that this is where he wanted to be for years to come. Afraid of Dean's reaction to that, he kept it all in. When Dean took him home and stood awkwardly on his front porch, Harry moved closer and pulled him close, lips only a breath apart. Dean took the hint and kissed him. Light, magic, and power flowed through them as they kissed. Warmth and safety flooded though them, making them feel as if they were coming home. Something deep and beautiful had happened in that moment. Harry could feel the ties that bound them and marveled at the strength and purity of them. Looking into each others eyes there was warmth and something else, not quite love, but something they had never had before but both so desperately craved. Dean pulled Harry close and smiled as he inhaled his scent, whatever had happened between them, whatever this was, he was going to try with all his might to keep it.

They could figure out all the details together.

_*Page Break*_

Pain laced through his side as more blood seeped through his fingers. He'd had the misfortune of meeting up with a demon not too far from Santa Clara and cursed as he got cut up again. This really wasn't his day, hell it wasn't his week. He was absolutely miserable and thoughts of his green eyed minx were distracting him immensely. He just wanted to be home and hold his little love. And okay, he missed the cheeky, cheerful brat too. He dodged another blade and dived behind the couch. The demon bitch followed and screeched as it realized it was trapped. "Sayonara bitch!" He began the exorcism and smirked as the bastard got his. He frowned as he saw the body turn blue. He hated it when he couldn't save the vessel. Shaking his head he limped back to his baby and headed back to his motel. His vision blurred and turned black. The last thing he heard were the screech of tires and screaming. Maybe it was him?

Luke looked down at the blonde man lying on the ground. The logical, reasonable, part of him wanted to call the cops and an ambulance. But something told him that wouldn't be such a good thing. He had a hunch about the blonde and needed to make sure he was wrong before involving the authorities. Popping the trunk he touched on the carpet and felt for a secret compartment. He pulled the sling up and sighed as he saw the all the ammo and weapons. Well then, Kira's it was. He wondered how he was going to explain this one. Better yet, how Dean was going to explain this to Harry.

Well, that wasn't his problem.

_*Page Break_

Harry shifted in his make shift bed, waiting for Dean to wake up. They had a lot of talking to do. He honestly did not want to think anything bad about Dean, but there was a lot of blood, not his own, on him. Luke told him not to worry and that there was a very good reason. He trusted Luke and despite only knowing him for a few months, Harry trusted Dean. He was worried and anxious and hope he wasn't mixed up in something bad. He, well, he didn't know exactly what he felt for Dean right then but he was pretty sure it was something like love. He didn't want to lose Dean.

Hours later Dean began to stir, he sensed he was somewhere unfamiliar and tensed, ready to fight as he began to catalogue his injuries and the presence in the room. "Please wake up Dean, I need to know you're okay." He relaxed knowing it was Harry at his side and relished in the warmth and safety he felt in his arms. He wanted to cry and figure out how he had gotten here. He always screwed things up and knew that Harry would either think he was some sort of psycho killer if he didn't answer his questions or think he was crazy if he told the truth. There was no way he could win here. He opened his eyes and looked at the man he had fallen for, memorizing every plane and contour of his eyes, nose, lips, neck, and body. He would need it all to get by. He had no pictures to remember him. He pushed himself up and stared at now open emerald eyes.

"Harry, there's something I have to tell you. I'm a hunter."

_*Page Break*_

Things had changed between them and he could see the terror in Harry's eyes as he told him what he was, what he did. He felt a staggering pain in his heart, thinking of how he had reacted. Dean had wanted to leave immediately, not wanting a verbal rejection to accompany the one he'd already gotten. The only reason he stuck around was because Kira had walked in calmly and placed food on his lap, daring him not to eat anything. He had faced demons, werewolf's, you name it. But you never messed with a Kira. She was something else entirely. Now he was just sitting there, waiting for Kira to tell him he was good enough to go before he left and never came back. Well, maybe not for a while. But he knew he'd be back. There was no way he'd be able to stay away.

Not for long.

*_Page Break*_

Harry was miserable and he didn't know what to do about it. He felt as if he had failed Dean in some way and now he had no clue how to fix things. A part of him feared what Dean would do if he found out what Kira and he were. Would he hunt them? How could he have been so stupid, getting close to a Winchester. Winchester. How could he have missed that? The Winchesters were known for hunting the supernatural, whether they were good or evil made no difference, only that they weren't human. He cried and cried and cried, and couldn't seem to stop. He cried because he had found someone that made him happy and it wasn't meant to be. He cried because of who he was and wished he could be normal, human, just for Dean. He cried because he had finally realized he was in love with Dean but they could never be. Winchesters could never love someone they didn't consider human.

_*Page Break*_

Dean finished packing all his things and took one final look around him. At the place he had come to see as home. But he knew better than that, he would never be able to have a home and someone to love him. That was all meant for Sammy, not him. He was the good little soldier and nothing more. And good soldiers, didn't fall in love. They didn't consider leaving the army for someone they loved. He stiffened as he felt moisture on his face, falling into his lips. He wiped his face angrily refusing to let Harry, or Kira, see him like this. Weak and pathetic. He swung his bags onto his shoulders and made his way out the house. He was tackled to the ground by an exuberant Kira and he smiled for the first time in days, a small smile but it was there. "I'm going to miss you loads, even if I don't like you much. Jerk." He laughed then, marveling at how she could say that with a smile on her face and cheer in her voice. He could see the lingering sadness and knowing look on her face. Luke pulled her off him and he picked up his bags once more. Nodding at him, he couldn't help the brief pang of resentment. He could have made it on his own. Instead, here he was leaving the love of his life behind. But maybe this was a good thing, for the best.

Winchesters soiled everything they touched after all.

_*Page Break*_

There didn't seem to be much going on these days. Harry was all mopey and depressed again and Gods if that didn't kill her. She was afraid that he would fall so deep this time that she wouldn't be enough to pull him out. She tried to be strong but she didn't know what to do. Comforting people was never her strong forte, she just felt all weird and out of sorts. It wasn't a very good feeling. Sighing she picked up the remnants of a cold meal as both Luke and Harry had eaten zilch. Nothing. Nada. Harry because he had lost Dean, for now at least. And Luke because he felt guilty for taking away Harry's happiness.

Boys were stupid. Plain and simple. It was something she'd come to realize as her boys all lacked the common sense to make things right. But she knew that good things come to those who wait, and they _were_ coming. She'd seen it. She had also seen all the pain that they would all suffer from, but the ending would make up for it. She tensed as she heard a horrifying scream. Eyes wide she and Luke ran outside to see Mrs. Riordon go up in flames, what was left of her. She saw everything fading into a blur of noise and activity and Kira was helpless to stop it, any of it.

The world was burning, burning, _burning_.

_*Page Break*_

John Winchester looked over at his son and wondered not for the first time what was wrong with him. He knew better than to ask seeing as Dean was so much like him. They didn't do talking well and emotions, feelings, were worse. They couldn't express concern or anything similar, that was what Sam was for. He briefly toyed with the idea of asking if there was something bothering Dean, if only for the sake of the hunt then thought better of it. If something was wrong Dean wouldn't let it affect his job and his questions would only hurt Dean further. His phone rang and he headed outside to answer it, frowning he looked over at Dean and thought that maybe this would help. Heading back inside he walked up to his son and told him he was going on a hunt. Solo. "Where am I going?" Dean asked.

"Santa Clara, California." Dean felt his breath hitch and his stomach dropped. "Why don't you go?" He winced as soon as the words left his mouth. He knew better than to question his father. John's face looked murderous. The lecture he got was enough to make him shut up and take it. He unconsciously rubbed the ache over his heart, something John didn't miss. John hoped this wouldn't make thing worse.

As usual, when it involved his sons, he was wrong.

_*Page Break*_

There was something going on in the city and no one knew what it was. Kira had forbidden Harry from looking into it seeing as he was a magnet for trouble. He knew better but couldn't help it, which is why she made it a formal command instead of a request. As the eldest, Harry had to obey. The blood ritual had made sure of than, given that this wouldn't hurt him or her. This was not their business and things would work out eventually,_ eventually_. But they would work out. She knew how miserable he was to have something like this happen in their city but it was necessary. "Oh, relax. It will be taken care of." She told him again and again but all he had to say was, "How many innocents will die until then?" just before he stormed of. _'Twenty-seven.'_

*_Page Break*_

This wasn't right, it just couldn't be right. There was no way that _Kira_ was capable of something like this. Dean refused to believe it but all the evidence was there. Kira was a witch and was publicly sacrificing innocents. He wondered how much more juice she got from making them public sacrifices but didn't really want to know. Taking a shuddering breath he realized he had to do this. He had never hated who he was and what he had to do up until that moment. Looking back now he should have realized things didn't add up.

He made his way to the cottage and stopped at the doorway of what had once been his home. He couldn't believe that Kira, no it wasn't Kira anymore. He would do this because it was his job and it was the right thing to do. Two hours later he was relived knowing that he wasn't wrong about the girl he'd come to see as his little sister. She was banged up a bit but she was a fighter and she would get through it. He didn't understand why someone would want to frame Kira and have someone hunt her even though she was innocent. He avoided looking at everyone in the room, instead focusing on the sleeping Kira. He was glad she was okay but it was time for him to go. He walked past Harry and felt himself burn. He paused briefly and looked down at him, seeing emerald eyes look at him with trepidation and fear. The small ember of hope he had left died and he moved forward quickly to keep from breaking down. He made it all the way to the door before he felt his knees give away.

"Your hurt."Dean looked at Harry and thought he saw what might have been affection before it was gone. "I'm fine," he said gruffly and made to stand up. Soft hands held his and pulled him up. "Come on, I'll patch you up." Emerald eyes looked into his own imploringly, and despite knowing this wouldn't end well, he followed Harry to his room.

_*Break*_

Some time later, just watching Harry clean and disinfect his wounds, he went back over what had happened a few hours earlier. Before he could dwell on that too much, he was distracted by moisture on his bare leg. He looked closer and realized they were tears. He forced himself to bury the urge to pull Harry close to him an d make love to him because that wasn't his right anymore. It would have worked too, if Harry hadn't chosen that moment to look up at him with tear glazed eyes. Moments stretched for an eternity. "I've missed you...there's something I need to say..." Dean couldn't believe what he had heard, but it was enough. Before he could really think things through he had pulled his minx onto his lap and proceeded to devour him completely. He tore his shirt to shreds and touched and licked and marked what was his. He plundered and soothed with his lips and his tongue, passion unfurling in every pore of his being. He slipped Harry's jeans of and then his boxers. His hands touched every bit of heated skin he could reach until he took his lovers weeping cock into his hands, stroking and rubbing. He tore his mouth away from ruby red lips and gently laid his love on the bed taking the remainder of his clothes of, he lay on top of Harry, moving against him. Skin on skin, no barriers between them. He rocked against him even as Harry arched his back, moans and pleas for more. Taking a nipple into his mouth and another into his fingers he sucked and slurped as his love's cries grew more frantic. Dean remapped every inch of his body until he came to the weeping cock of his beautiful little lover. Taking it in one go Harry's cries grew into a crescendo and his fingers slipped into the tight heat. Stroking skillfully and nails scratching against his prostrate. Dean took his mouth away from Harry's cock and licked his lips, hooking Harry's legs over his shoulder and looking into his lovers eyes his plunged into him with one swift stroke, making him scream with abandon as each stroke hit his bundle of nerves. He gripped Harry's hair with one hand, tilting it back until his neck was bared, marking him as his and then kissing him savagely. Each stroke hit Harry's prostrate and they rocked together in perfect, sinful, harmony. The sound of his lover's pain and pleasure pushed Dean to the edge as he moved into him faster and faster until with a primal cry of pleasure, they came together as one.

They lay together sated and content, happy to be in each others arms once more. But there was still something between them, something that had to be said. Dean trailed fingers languidly down his loves body and smiled softly down at him. Harry smiled because he was with Dean again but it fell from his face remembering why he had thought they couldn't be together. Dean sensed Harry's mood shift and tensed, thinking Harry thought it had been a mistake to be with him again. Preparing to be rejected once more, he sat up and looked at the wall in front of him. Harry got up and pushed him back against the headboard, straddling his waist. He cupped Dean's face in his hands and kissed him lovingly. Dean was confused and the hope he felt before had only burned brighter as they had made love returned. Harry saw the hope and the love in Dean's eyes and hoped for the best. He really hoped Dean loved him as much as he loved Dean. "I have missed you more than you will ever know. And I, I..."Dean's breath hitched, "I love you." He had never felt a joy like this in his entire life and he pulled Harry's hair, tilting his head to kiss him properly. He felt himself stir once more but stopped himself and looked into those green eyes he loved so much, "And I love you. Always, only, you." WIth a final peck on the lips he settled for looking into his eyes not wanting to ruin this moment, only... "Why are crying love?Please tell me." Harry continued to cry silently and smiled sadly. Dean felt his stomach drop. "There's something else I have to tell you Dean." Dean was tense and waiting for anything. Maybe he'd found someone new? Maybe he couldn't accept him as a hunter? Maybe...

"I'm a wizard."

Silence stretched between them as Dean stared at Harry in dawning horror, reminiscent of Harry's reaction to him only a month ago. That, that explained so much. He felt something cold and furious settle inside of him. He threw Harry aside and pulled on his clothes as fast as he was able. Harry felt his heart shatter into a million pieces, sobs beginning to wrack his small frame. The sheer rage and disgust coming from Dean hurt Harry unlike anything else he had felt before. "D-Dean, pl-please, wa-it...I, I love you." Harry tried desperately to speak clearly, to get Dean to listen, to wait.

Dean paused a few feet from the door.

"I could never love a demon's whore." With those parting words he left a sobbing and hysterical Harry behind. He'd never felt so empty and broken before. His heart had shattered into a million pieces. It lay like little shards of glass on the floor, damaged beyond repair.

End Part I

Hope you enjoyed this and I know there are some mistakes seeing as I have no beta and can't seem to find one. I went over it again though and hope the spelling and grammar I missed don't take away from the piece. If I find any more mistakes I'll make sure to update with the revision. Also, here's some incentive for a beta (yes, I've resorted to bribing...)be my beta and I promise to take any hope or idea you've had for this particular couple and make it come true! Hehee, sound good to anyone?

CriesOfTheFallen


	2. Chapter 2

Shards of Glass

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is __**slash,**__ stay if you like, leave if you don't. Some spoilers for season 3._

_Note: Great big thank you and lots of hugs to all those who reviewed, I really appreciate the love. Story is doing well as many people are putting it on their favorites, which is awesome:). One thing I want to address real quick is how depressing or sad both "Pieces of Me" and "Shards of Glass" are. I'm in a place right now where this type of work just fits and reflects some of what I feel without being real, you know? I am thinking of writing something lighter and happier, since I do so love Dean and Harry and think they deserve to be happy. So I'll think on it and see if anything comes to me. Finally, sorry for the slow update, I had the first 5,000 words done ages ago, I just wasn't satisfied with how I ended it and decided to add more, which is good for you guys I suppose. Enough said I suppose, thank you again for all the support!_

Enjoy.

-Part Two-

_**Present**_

Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time. That's more or less what he had taken to doing as of late. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Everything seemed dull and lifeless. Where he once felt satisfaction and comfort, he now found emptiness and sorrow.Part of him couldn't understand how one person could come to mean so much to him and change him so. He had always been alone. Yeah, sure, he had once had Sammy. But Sammy wasn't really his; he was more like a son he had never seen coming. The only thing Sammy seemed to care about was himself and _his_ happiness. There was never any room for what Dean needed, for what _he_ wanted. It was all about taking care of Sam, keeping him safe. All about killing the demon no matter what and picking up the pieces of a shattered heart and the raising of a child by a child. Where did that leave Dean?

Empty and alone. Because he wasn't good enough. Sammy wants to be all normal and pretend he doesn't _have_ a family? Let him go. Dad wants some 'space' to deal? Sure, why not. All the reasons _why_ don't matter. All that matters is what comes out of their mouths are reasons, and reasons are just a guise for excuses. Excuses are really just a form of rejection, only worse because you _know_ they're rejecting you but don't think your important enough for that. No. You're just some convenient little weapon, a toy to use as you please. That was all he had ever been to Sam and John Winchester. That had been his life.

Dean had never known he was drowning until he had been pulled out and able to just _breathe._ He'd been gasping for breath and struggling desperately to find a way out of the deep. Green eyes had latched onto his and pulled him away from all the pain and emptiness he'd thought he deserved. But he didn't deserve that. He deserved to be loved and understood. To be held and comforted because he was _special_. He was meant for more then what he had accepted his whole life. And all it took was a heart of gold and eyes unlike any other he'd seen before. Dean had been wired to react a certain way, to respond to the possibility of genuine affection and understanding with hate and mistrust. What else could he do? It was all he had ever known. But none of this mattered as he turned and found deep emerald eyes latch onto his own. There was nothing there. There was no distrust, or suspicion nagging at him, warning him to keep away. In that moment, he thought he saw forever reflected back at him. He'd found something to live for. Someone. Someone to love and to hold and to keep all to himself. For the most part, anyways.

But there he was, standing at the end of the world and looking into the darkness and seeing it reflected back into him. What was he doing here? Why wasn't he groveling and begging for forgiveness? Simple. He didn't know how. There had never been anyone in his life worth begging to. At one point, Dean thought the sun rose and fell with Sammy. But Sammy hadn't been true, he'd abandoned Dean just like everyone else. He knew he'd reached a point where he might never turn back, that he could lose everything for real this time. Because you could only lose what you had and he finally had that something. Undying love and devotion. Why should he throw that all away? Because a demon killed his mother, a woman he hardly knew? Because his father had told him, no, ordered him to? Because he had been taught that all things supernatural were evil? _Why?_

He kept turning these thoughts back and forth in his head, always coming to the same half formed conclusion. _It didn't matter_. But it did. This was his life, _who he was. _He wasn't ready to let go of everything he had ever known. Hunting had always been his one constant; gank the bastards, maybe get laid, and be done with it. Now all that seemed to matter were those green eyes and that beautiful smile. Just thinking about Harry made his heart ache. Dammit, he needed to do something keep from thinking about him. Soft buzzing and a flashing screen drew his attention and he cursed silently as he read the name '_Dad'. _There was a first time for everything and the last thing he wanted to do right now was talk to his father, it was still too soon. He needed time to think, to heal and decide what he was going to do. And listening to John Winchester? That was bound to lead him on a much more destructive path. He considered not answering but decided against it; it wasn't really worth it. His father had a way of tearing him down to shreds, and he doubted he could explain what was going on without something drastic happening.

He wanted to blame Harry and say he'd cast a spell on Dean. That he had maybe found a way to lay one on him and make his behave this way but he knew it wasn't true. He'd been possessed before and had all sorts of things done to him. There was no spell, no curse, on him. What he felt was real, absolute. He was torn between wanting to hate Harry for what he was and thinking as a thing, and running back with his tail between his legs, finding some way of getting his love to take him back. Even in his head he couldn't help but think of Harry as his love. He hadn't professed something he didn't feel, he would always love Harry,_ only him._ But he wasn't ready to face him. He didn't know if he could turn his back on anything and feel the same sense of _peacewarmthlovesafety _he'd once felt in Harry's arm and in their, his, home. Could he ever get that back? Maybe he wasn't meant to be happy. He was a Winchester after all.

But for now, he had a hunt to take care of.

-_Page Break-_

Dean was falling to pieces and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He was helpless to keep the cracks from showing, something dangerous in his line of work. Creatures were picking up on his lack of focus and taking advantage of it. He winced deeply as he felt a sharp spike of pain on his back. The lacerations were some of the worst he'd had. Dean couldn't help but wonder how much time he had left. He was a fighter by nature but there was only so much his body could take. Out of all the hunts he'd had since leaving Santa Clara, he'd been injured in all but three. He was used to getting hurt, but never this many major injuries. Bobby had ordered him to stop hunting and told his father off for making him hunt when he was clearly somewhere else entirely.

For the time being he would stay with Bobby and help around the garage once his back was up to it. The only thing Dean could do was think and research. He figured he might as well make good use of his time. It helped that he didn't have Sam or his father around to question his sudden interest in 'learning' anything and making him loose all interest in trying something out. He was the soldier not the scholar, and only needed his muscles to clear a hunt. Breathing through his teeth again was harder than he thought it would be. He had always lived that way and found it hard to adjust once he'd had a taste of life. He was drowning in a sea of alcohol and uncertainty. There was a litany of voices in his head screaming over and over again...

_Disconnect. Self-destruct. Disconnect. Self-destruct...maybe God was trying to tell him something?_

_-Page Break-_

The sun rose and fell again and Harry felt nothing but apathy. Maybe, not even that. He had hardly moved or done anything since Dean had thrown him aside, leaving with nothing but "_I could never love a demon's whore._" The words echoed in his head painfully, tearing what was left of him to shreds. He didn't know how long he could hold on to his sanity with the constant replay of that night running through his head. He wanted nothing more than to forget that night and continue living with the hope and uncertainty of Dean's love. Hoping and praying that he would understand; that Dean would still love him no matter what. That was all he wanted, all he needed.

The darkness made the voices in his head calm and quite. He felt the need to move for the first time in days and stood. He looked out into the darkness that surrounded him in his room and thought he heard the sound of Dean's voice. He startled and nearly cried as he followed the sound of his lovers voice through the halls of his home. He found himself on the porch and watched the ghost of the man he had learned to love. He walked to the swing and sat down, rocking back and forth, dreaming while he was still awake.

-_**Past**_-

Dean held Harry in his arms gently, running his fingers through his hair slowly. Threads of silk slid through his fingers seamlessly, as Dean gazed at Harry and Harry looked at the night sky. The night was filled with a gentle breeze, rocking them back and forth. The moon was bright and full, and for once, Dean could admire the sheer beauty of it. Given who he was, he wasn't used to just sitting back and relaxing, especially not on a full moon. But there was a sense of security in this place, his home, with his arms wrapped around the man he loved. "Stop thinking so much, love." Dean looked down into emerald eyes amused, those green eyes were incredibly drowsy and there was a silly little smile on his faye like face. The shadows created a sense of mystery and intrigue; he was happy knowing he knew what lay behind such beauty and imperfect perfection.

Those words fit what they had exactly. Dean was a hunter and Harry was an innocent who could never know. Knowledge was power, but it was also dangerous. Knowing what he did for a living would make Harry realize that there was evil hidden around every corner. There was nothing more important to him than protecting Harry's innocence. He would bear the burden alone, just as he always had. Only this time, he didn't mind. Not in the least.

It was moments like these that made all the inconsistencies and all the mystery that surrounded Dean mean nothing. Just him, Dean, and the night. At times he felt that was all they needed, before Kira's voice rang in his head, nagging at him. Of course he loved the girl he had taken as his sister, but Dean was everything now. He never thought he would fall so far but damm if it didn't fell right. They hadn't jumped into bed immediately because Harry knew he wanted more. There had to be more. He was just way past the stage of thinking he was worthless and did not deserve to be loved. Maybe that was why he felt so good with Dean, why he could read him so well. Despite the mask of absolute confidence and certainty, Dean was terrified of being rejected. He was just waiting for the other shoe to fall and for Harry to leave him, but he wouldn't. He refused to leave the one person who he knew he could trust with everything he was. Eventually.

He was sure Dean wouldn't leave him for being a wizard, but he just needed to make sure, absolutely sure, that this was going for the long haul. He wanted forever, he was ready for it, but the question was, _is Dean?_

Dean bent his head closer to Harry's and sang softly in his ear,

"_You touched these tired eyes of mine,_

_and mapped my face out line by line,_

_and somehow growing old feels fine._

_I listen close for I'm not smart, _

_you wrap your words in works of art,_

_and they're hanging on the walls of my heart..."_

In this moment, nothing else mattered. Only that they were there, under the moonlight, together. Where they belonged.

_**Present**_

__He breathed in deeply and stepped inside the shop, customers turning to look at him. Harry tried a smile and knew he failed miserably as he saw the sympathetic looks thrown his way. He winced but squared his shoulders and moved on. He said hello to Dania and Luke and moved to the back, where all the pastries and coffee was made. He saw Kira working on decorating a two tier cake and managed a smile. He knew he had let everything go for a long time now but he hadn't been able to pull himself together. Dean had broken all the hopes and dreams he'd had for them and that was fine. It just had to be. He had suffered through worse and the ache in his heart would lessen and fade until there was nothing left of Dean Winchester. At least, he hoped that was true.

Kira turned and smiled brightly, truly happy for the first time in weeks, as she caught sight of her brother. She had been insanely worried about him and felt helpless as she watched him fade away. Comforting people didn't come easy to her and she always felt inadequate and a mild sense of panic whenever she saw tears. Still, she had tried her best and it seems to have made a little bit of difference. But she wasn't delusional and knew they had a long way to go. She loved Dean, sure, but he was going to burn when he came back. And he would be back, she didn't need to be a bloody seer to see_ that. _True soul mates could never be apart once they had fallen in love. You could always find your soul mate, meet them for a minute and you could continue with your lives as they were, but once you fell in love with each other that was it. There was no turning back and there could _never _be anyone else. Walking forward, she hugged the midget tightly and smiled at him softly. Kissing him on the forehead, she promised him everything would be alright. And it would be.

-_Page Break-_

Kira looked at the quivering, blundering mess before her with a glare. Did he really think it would be that simple? That he could just walk in and ask for forgiveness and that would be it? That she would _help_ him? Yeah, it wasn't. She took a step forward and snatched Dean's chin tightly, glaring at him for all she was worth, feeling a sense of gratification at seeing the small tendrils of fear in those eyes. For a man like Dean Winchester, showing that much was a show of how badly off he was. His state of mind was fragile and broken, pity was not something she felt would be appreciated and stamped down before it could take form. Heartbreak was written all over his soul but she needed to know he had gotten over Harry being a wizard and that he would be able to accept him and love him despite it. "I need to know you are truly sorry. Obviously your word is not enough so I need your permission to look at your soul."

Dean stared back at the smaller woman and couldn't repress the slight shiver that ran through him. He wasn't used to apologizing, much less groveling, but he knew that he had to do something that would make Harry take him back. He had thought of just leaving things as they were, though the part of him that was John Winchester pushed and pulled at him from all sides trying to make him go back and _take care _of Harry. The part of him that wanted to grovel and find a way to make Harry take him back and spend eternity together, the part of him that was Mary Winchester made him realize he would need help. Fortunately Mary won because he couldn't do that to Harry. Anyone but Harry. And there was no way in hell he was telling his father and he had wasted weeks trying to set his pride aside. He had finally reached the point where he could ask Kira for forgiveness and beg for her help, knowing that was the only way he would ever get his Harry back. He needed to do this.

Dean had at one point lacked the maturity to accept his lover was a wizard, even if he hadn't made a deal, much less realize he was wrong and had to apologize. The part of him that felt betrayed and demanded that Harry had lied to him and hurt him first was viciously torn to shreds by the memory of the night he'd thrown Harry aside just after he had declared his love for him. Dean had seen the scars on Harry, both physical and emotional, he knew how hard it was for Harry to let anyone in. To find out he had let in a _hunter_ must have shocked and terrified him, which was natural especially given who had raised him. Winchesters apparently had a reputation, one he could no longer be proud of. Nodding he looked at Kira and braced himself, expecting pain. Instead, he felt warmth engulf him and opened his eyes to see nothing but pure white light with strands of gold flowing between them. It was beautiful and he wondered if this was what his soul looked like?

Hours later he caught Kira as she collapsed. Of course, with _his_ luck, Luke chose to walk in through the door at that moment. If the look of surprise and rage was any indication, this would _not_ end up well for him.

-_Page Break-_

_ Soft lips caressed his own and hand slid into his, gripping them tightly. Emerald eyes met hazel and a smile was shared between them. The warmth of the fireplace and the brilliant moon surrounded them and lay witness to the joining between them, the first time they came together as one. Light, blinding and beautiful flowed between them. Harry thought he had finally found heaven. There was nothing that could ever tear them apart, not now, not ever._ Harry woke with a gasp and looked around him desperately, hoping it hadn't been a dream, that he could go back to that night and change something, anything.

He would never regret meeting Dean, loving him, but maybe he could have avoided the conversation he had with Dean about the reason for his injuries. Somehow, he felt Dean's leaving was his fault. It was always somehow always his fault. He lay in his bed for some time until his phone buzzed and reached to his side blindly, searching for it. He found it and dragged it to him, '_Meet me at the hill in 20. Dress okay-ish, yeah?-3 Kira ^.^'. _ He looked over at the time and grumbled to himself, knowing there was no way he could deny her. He owed her for putting up with him for the last few weeks since Dean had left him. He felt the same sinking pit in his stomach and willed it away. Walking up the hill some time later he wondered why he was needed at that time and dressed up too. The thought of a blind date struck him suddenly and he nearly fell over at the weight of it. He was no where near ready for that and he hoped his sister knew that. He was in no way over Dean and he doubted he ever truly would be. The closer he got to the top the more he thought he was wrong, jasmine flowers and dahlia petals? Those were his favorite.

Kira might have set him up but she would have never volunteered that information to anyone. She respected his privacy. He felt something in him and thought he recognized it. But no, he stamped it down and made himself just _breathe._ Reaching the top he felt his breath give away. The top of the hill was lighted by moonlight and dozens upon dozens of sweet smelling candles, raspberry and vanilla? He thought so. There were more jasmine flowers and dahlia petals strewn around. At the center, their-his, bench, was a table for two. A single jasmine flower sat on each plate. He walked around the table and fingered the soft petals of the flower. Suddenly he felt anger, red hot, fill him. "Kira? Kira? Is this your idea of a joke?" Silence met his questions and he scowled, he was _not_ in the mood for this. He headed back towards the path and stopped short as someone stepped out of the shadows. He felt weak, ready to pass out.

"Dean?" Harry breathed softly. "What are...what are you doing here?" He asked, voice soft and hesitant, and no, there was no hope _at all _in there. Dean took a hesitant step forward and stopped when he saw Harry take a step back to compensate. Dean looked unsure of himself but straightened and looked into the eyes of the man he'd missed with every fiber of his being. "This is not a joke and Kira is not here. I," Dean stopped and seemed to be looking for the right thing to say, "I was wrong." Harry looked back at Dean surprised, Dean didn't admit errors, at least not directly. "I love you and I know I messed up. More than that, I hurt you knowing how much trust you put into me. How close you let me get into your life, into your heart. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I want to ask you to forgive me anyways." This time, when Dean stepped forward, Harry didn't move.

Harry looked at Dean and it was all he could do not to cross the remaining distance between them. He wanted to forgive him, but Dean had hurt him and had made him want to stop being _himself. _He was just afraid. "I know it's hard and I know we have a lot to work on, but I _do _love you. Always will. And if you take me back, I'll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you. I swear on my life." Harry was struck by how fierce and beautiful Dean looked under the light of the moon and the soft glow of the candles. Saying those words, in that instant, he could believe everything Dean told him. Harry loved Dean, with all his heart and soul. Everything he was belonged to Dean and there was nothing he could do about it. But he was afraid that Dean would hurt him again, not in a small way, but in a way were he wouldn't be able to pick up the pieces of shattered glass he had made of his heart. There were only so many times you could glue together something so delicate before it couldn't hold together anymore. Dean had the power to truly end him, to break him completely and absolutely where so many others had failed.

Dean knew that Harry was struggling to make his choice; he knew that Harry still loved him and he had to try. Walking back towards the pot he had been hiding in he heard something like a strangled cry leave Harry and swiftly made his way back into the light and to Harry. Cupping his face gently with one hand, Dean wiped errant tears he knew Harry wanted to keep from shedding, away. Leaning in slowly, giving him the chance to pull away, he kissed the lightning bolt scar on Harry's forehead. "Just getting my guitar..." He said to Harry. A light blush graced his features and Dean felt that maybe, just maybe, he could win his love back. Stepping back he tugged at Harry's hand and pulled him towards the table that had been set up and sat him down. Pulling up a chair towards himself he got comfortable, "Please just listen, and if, if you decide..." Dean looked mutinous at the thought he could not bring himself to voice. Instead, he pulled up his guitar and righted it,"I wrote this for you some time ago. You've already heard part of it but...right, well here goes:" He said nervously and began to play,

"_You touched these tired eyes of mine,_

_And mapped my face out line by line,_

_And somehow growing old feels fine._

_I listen close for I'm not smart._

_You wrap your thoughts in works of art,_

_and there hanging in the walls of my heart._

_I may not have the softest touch, _

_I may not say the words as such,_

_And though I may not look like much,_

_I'm yours...and though my edges may be rough,_

_I never feel I'm quite enough._

_It may not seem like every much,_

_But I'm yours..."_

Harry looked at Dean with moist eyes and a hint of a smile.

"_You healed these scars over time,_

_Embraced my soul, you loved my mind,_

_You're the only angel in my life._

_The day new skin, my best friend died._

_My knees grew weak and you saw me cry._

_Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes..._

_I may not have the softest touch, _

_I may not say the words as such,_

_And though I may not look like much,_

_I'm yours...and though my edges may be rough,_

_I never feel I'm quite enough._

_It may not seem like every much,_

_But I'm yours..."_

Harry was struck by how open Dean was in that moment, bearing his heart and soul to him fully, something he had never done before, not entirely. He knew what Dean was really saying with this song. _I love you. I want you. It doesn't matter what the world says, we belong together. There will never be another._ Dean had the power to break him, but Harry thought he could live with that. As long as they were together, everything would be alright. Smiling he dropped to his knees with Dean and kissed him softly on the lips.

Dean felt the weight of the world fall away and turn to dust. Kissing Harry a bit forcefully, he was elated at the thought of being with his love once more. This in no way meant they were completely okay, that what he had said was all in the past, it just meant that they were both willing to forgive and move on, to work on what they had already begun to build. They had a lot of things to work through, but as each day passed, even the time they were apart, Dean knew that he was falling more and more in love with Harry. And that each day at his side would bring happiness and serenity to his soul. He would spend the rest of his life making this up to Harry and loving him more and more each day. There would be no regrets with them, never again.

-_Page Break-_

Kira sent Harry a text and knew the moment he read it. Everything was set up in the den and all that they needed was Harry and they were all set. Today marked the day of three months of love and happiness between Dean and Harry and their reconciliation. It also marked the day of Dean's birth. What more reasons did they need to come together and celebrate? It was the perfect day and it hadn't taken much to set everything up. She was just so happy. It made her feel kind of sick knowing what was coming and being unable to do anything about it. She was literally powerless to keep the storm at bay for much longer, she'd already interfered as much as she'd dared. The rest was up to her boys and she knew they would move mountains, destroy worlds, just to be together again. And frankly? The world could go fuck it self for all she cared, she was going to make _sure_ they would be together again. Even if it killed her. "Stop thinking so much," Kira jumped as the words were whispered in her ear, soft lips brushing against her neck. Luke wrapped his muscular arms around her and pulled her close, still placing open mouthed kisses along her neck, on her cheek, and finally, turning her, and kissing her on the lips. Gods how she had prayed. The only thing she ever asked for was someone to love, hell she had at one point been willing to _share_. The things she was subject to see each day broke her a little more each day and all she really wanted was someone to love her and hold her, to heal what could be salvaged. Fate had smiled upon her and given her this beautiful fiend. This was her _other_, the only one for her.

"What do I pay you two for? To laze around?" Harry called out as he entered the den, taking in all the cheerful decorations. The sunlight streaming through the windows and their small friends gathered there would mean so much to Dean. Kira and Luke walked, bounced, over to Harry. Kira smothered Harry with hugs and kissed and babbled about everything they'd done so far, "I made his favorite cake and foods too. Couldn't decide on one so I made, like, all of them? Which is cool cause you know, you were asleep so _someone_ had to cook even though that wasn't part of the deal. I know he's never had a party before so I totally got some candy, and candy bags to give out, and hats, aren't they cute? Oh! Oh! And a pinata! This is going to be the best birthday...EVER!" Harry laughed and hurried to shush her. The last thing they needed was Dean getting up before they were ready. Harry went into the kitchen and pulled out the final batch of cupcakes, taking the already cooled off ones and beginning to ice them. Red velvet was unfortunately Dean's favorite, he personally could not stand the taste for the life of him. Putting the finishing touches on the cupcakes and placing them in strategic places around the massive chocolate-mocha cake. While he was proud of Kira's creation, Dean was truly going to salivate over her apple cinnamon pie. His babe had one weakness and it just so happened that it was Kira's pies and baked goods in general.

Harry was a chef, true, but Kira was an artist. Her creations brought in insane amounts of money, especially when there were weddings involved. Honestly, women were barking mad. He couldn't understand how women were willing to pay over five grand for a cake that, while beautiful, would be cut up and destroyed in a matter of hours. It was the craziest thing about women, not that he would ever say that out loud. Dean had learned his lesson and he had been witness to it. Harry smirked thinking about the faint scar that marked his shoulder. That had been hilarious. Laughing lightly he moved into the den and froze as he heard steps coming towards the hall he had just left. Motioning to his friends and sister, he rushed forward and stood in front of the group, Kira and Luke at his side. He waited on baited breath and felt his heart pounding in his chest, "SURPRISE!"

Dean stood at the entrance, eyes wide and lips parted in surprise or confusion, Harry couldn't really tell. The smile fell from his face and everyone was silent. _What if he hated this? What if he didn't want a party organized by Kira and Luke and him and all their other friends? What if he was mad at him? Should he have invited his father? Or Bobby? Or what if-_ Lips descended onto his and devoured him. After what felt like a lifetime of just them, Dean pulled away and smiled softly looking into his eyes. Harry felt his heart burst at the love and sheer happiness he could see reflected back at him. Dean had never had this and Harry wanted this to be the first of many things they had together. They would together forever and this was just one of the many things they would share. Maybe the next party wouldn't be as childish but there would be more. "Thank you." He could hear the depth and emotion in his words,tears manifesting in his voice. Two very simple words that made all the unbearable sneaking around worth it. Harry wasn't exactly known for being able to keep secrets. At Dean's questioning look he blushed and muttered, "Kira." And really, that was all the explanation needed. Dean laughed and guided him around the room, their friends wishing Dean a happy birthday and talking about random things. Harry ended up with Kira and Luke, standing by the table set up with all the desserts.

Dean excused himself and headed towards Harry, pulling him gently into his arms. He looked into the eyes that captivated him time and again, smiling softly. Dean had never had a birthday party, it had never been worth celebrating. The way he saw it, it was just another day of whatever he had going on. To have this, all of this, was an amazing feeling. He could finally relate to other people and the excitement and happiness of this day, his day. What made this day even more perfect was knowing that there were people who loved him enough to spend so much time planning, and hosting the party. He had Harry now, and he knew his life would never be the same. Kissing Harry he deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around his tightly. Some days, he just never wanted to let go. Pulling back he gave a wide, loving smile seeing the look on his love's face. Suddenly he blinked at the sudden flash of light. Harry and Dean looked to the side and saw Kira holding a camera with an exuberant smile on her face. "Need some pictures, you know, to remember this day even when you two are grey and old!" She bounced up to them and pecked them both on the cheek. Harry laughed joyously, thinking he would need copies of that, and said, "Gotta love her, right?" Dean smirked and pulled him close, "I love you more." Blushing cheeks made him laugh and he leered dow at Harry, time to go make a party of their own.

By the time Dean and Harry made it back to the party, the sun was setting and close to being dark. They were greeted by whistles and cat calls, their friends teasing the smaller male especially. Harry blushed fiercely and hid in Dean's arms, not that he minded in the least. Looking at the precious being in his arms and the friends that looked back at him with nothing but love and acceptance, he came to a decision. Dean Winchester would hunt no more. He had found his reason for living and he refused to jeopardize what they had. Hunting had already come between them once and nearly destroyed them both, he refused to let it happen again. He could finally sympathize with Sam, he had his reason for living, someone to come home to, and friends that could easily become family. He was never giving that up.

-_Page Break-_

Harry looked out at the setting sun and smiled, feeling better than he had in weeks. Dean was finally going to come home after almost an entire month of being away. He had already roped Kira into making Dean some of her pies and a batch of snicker doodle cookies. Harry had been trying incessantly to get the exact time of Dean's arrival from the petite girl but for the life of him he could not. All he got was this strange smile, that and she kept on hugging him at random times. Sure, Kira was the touchy-feely type but she had never been like this to such extremes. He was a bit worried that something was wrong with Kira and Luke since she had taken to sleeping in his room like she used to before the two had finally gotten together. Watching those two had been torture in so many ways, they were just so _perfect_ for each other and everyone could see it but them. Kira couldn't see into her own future so it was hard for her to open up, especially when she could see the one she was in a happy relationship not too far of. It meant that the men she dated only wanted a quick fuck or that it wasn't meant to be. Despite how much Harry loved Kira, he could acknowledge that her seer abilities sometimes manifested in weird kind of ways. That and it was a bit annoying to have an all knowing seer at your side making cryptic comments. But that was all part of the charm!

Despite how Kira had acted, he could see how much it hurt when Dean had become a permanent fixture in their lives. Kira adored Dean but was hurt by what they had. She just wanted someone to love her for who she was and to understand that she had no control over her abilities. Luke was perfect for her but was too wrapped up in what he thought was love to even notice the breath taking brunette. At least that's what he had thought. Laughing at the memory he started driving downtown for the ingredients for the pie and the bolognese lasagna for tomorrow. Everyone, himself included, had thought that Luke was clueless about how he felt about Kira and how she felt about him but that was not entirely true. Luke had been sure of his feelings but unsure if Kira loved him as well. That was the problem with people like Kira; they had hearts of gold and a personality that shone like the sun. They loved everyone and anyone who wanted or needed to be loved. They were bright and cheerful and sometimes that made people get mixed signals. More accurately, that made men get mixed signals. Harry was still amazed at how they had gotten together.

Kira had been working tables at the shop and Luke had been sitting at his usual couch sipping coffee and eating biscuits. Kira had been taking an order from an elderly couple, who were holding hands and telling her how they had met. Kira had been smiling and listening in interest, the far off look in her eyes telling him she was seeing it with her own eyes. Suddenly, without any warning, Luke had simply gotten up walked up to Kira and kissed her. Dead silence. Seriously, those two had been dancing around each other so long that no one expected their first kiss to happen that way. Most were betting on some sort of small enclosed space being involved and those two being looked in said space. Kira had been stunned but more than willing to participate. When Luke pulled away with his left arm still wrapped around her waist and his right reaching up to trace her lips and then brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "So, wanna have dinner with me?" The smile on her face had been blinding and she had hugged him tightly, tears soaking his shirt. He had cradled her gently in his arms. There was something so fitting about the way they had come together, almost as if in that moment Luke could see himself and Kira old and wrinkled telling someone about _their_ love, telling them their story. It had been sweet, and funny. Everyone had burst into applause or cat calls and congratulations. It was one of Harry's fondest memories.

Sighing he remembered meeting the love of his life at the shop as well. With a laugh he got out of his car and headed inside _Rita's_ a small market owned by local farmers who only sold their own produce as well as locally grown produce. It was his favorite place to buy fruits and vegetables. They had pastas and what not but mostly fresh produce. It made all food taste better when he used their produce, although sometimes he bought his groceries closer to home if he didn't have the time to go out and buy them. He went through the shop and greeted everyone by name, most of the people who shopped at _Rita's _were regulars and they also frequented his shop. Once he was done he headed out and said goodbye to Enrique, Rita's youngest son. Humming softly he suddenly stopped as he got a bad feeling. Something wasn't right, he just couldn't place what was wrong. Everything had been fine a minute ago. Narrowing his eyes in concentration and putting the bags of produce down, he turned and released tendrils of magic, spreading out. He jerked back when he felt a sense of pure _evil_ unlike any he had felt before. He dropped to his knees in pain as his core fought to keep the tainted magic he had released from becoming a part of his essence. He winced as his chin was gripped tightly and forcefully tilted up. Emerald green eyes looked up into sickly yellow and widened in recognition, "_Demon."_ Shit. This was not good, not good at all. Gritting his teeth he sent out blast of purifying magic and managed to throw the demon back a few feet. He lurched to his feet and groaned in pain when he was hit from behind with the dark energy. He rolled and tried to get up again, desperately trying to fight back with his magic but something was holding him back, he couldn't feel his magic anymore. Panic seized him.

He was blinded by something intangible and dragged by his hair, Harry couldn't see where he was being taken and felt the grainy texture of the asphalt dig into his back, scratching it up. He could feel the sharp tug and ache of having his hair pulled tightly, painfully for too long. They stopped somewhere and he could see nothing, only the dark. He could still feel little rocks under him and the cold coming from the ground. The surrounding area was cold and he tried to scramble back when the hand holding his hair let him go. When he tried to get up, his hair was grabbed once more and his head was thrown against a wall, consistent throbbing starting at the wound and spreading throughout his head made him dizzy and his arms and legs were thrown back and held by an invisible force. He could hear the sound of heavy breathing and wondered if that was for his benefit. Harry felt the demon approach and tried once more to reach into his core. He recoiled internally when he was burned from the inside out by his magic. It felt like betrayal of the worst kind. A part of him was rejecting him when he needed it the most. Harry held his breath when something cold and metallic, he guessed a knife, was held to the tip of his nose and slowly moved down to his lips and then moved lower to his chin, then his neck. The weapon lingered and Harry drew in shard, unsteady breaths. Lips were suddenly on his own and he struggled with every part of his being to break away, to do _something_. He bit down on the tongue hard and almost smirked in satisfaction as the demon retreated but didn't get to feel any sort of triumph when he was stabbed and the knife, definitely a knife, was pulled a few inches down, tearing up his insides as it went. He held back and bit his lip to keep from screaming. He had already realized that he couldn't talk and knew it would only be a waste of time. "Behave precious, and I might just let you live." Yeah, right, as if he would believe that. He had a feeling that even if he "behaved" he would still end up dead and if he lived, he would end up dead soon enough.

"Now, now, little witch. Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Yellow eyes looked into his and fingers traced his face in a mockery of a caress, "You and I, are going to have a bit of _fun."_ Harry felt the demon entered him and screamed silently, unable to make any noise. The world faded away to white as he locked himself in his mind. Harry was powerless to stop the demon from taking what he wanted and torturing him, but he would not give him the pleasure of hearing him, or seeing him, scream. If the demon thought he would get a reaction from him he was wrong. Harry detached himself from the pain and felt only a small bit of the torture. He knew that if he lived he would feel everything at once and that enough would be enough to kill him. Over and over he chanted in his head, "_Dean will know. He's going to come and save me. He is,__**"**_believing it with all his heart and soul.

But Dean never came. Neither did Kira. Or Luke. When the yellow eyed demon was finished with him and left him lying in that alley, all that was left was a broken shell of the man he used to be. When he felt the demon stop he lowered his battered shields, unable to hold them up any longer. Harry had never felt so alone in his life. As he lay there dying on the cold dirty floor, agony making his thoughts hard to form and shatter, the only thing he could think of where hazel-green eyes and a voice that sang to him softly,

_I may not have the softest touch, _

_ I may not say the words as such,_

_ And though I may not look like much,_

_ I'm yours...and though my edges may be rough,_

_ I never feel I'm quite enough._

_ It may not seem like every much,_

_ But I'm yours..._

Despite everything, the pain and the helplessness, he died with a smile on his face.

Then hee woke to an endless stream of white and the smell of jasmine's.

_-Page Break-_

Dean rushed out of the motel onto his car with is bags in his arms. If he hurried he would be able to make it to dinner at home instead of having to eat another god forsaken meal at another nameless dinner. He couldn't wait to get home to his little love, his home, and their babies. '_Hey! What about me?'_ Dean blinked and looked around suspiciously then laughed. Of course he had missed the midget and her fiend too. Mostly the midget, but really he missed his little love. He couldn't wait to wrap his arms around smooth shoulders and kiss those soft welcoming lips. Just home in general had been missed. He had never minded going on long trips before but that was before he had his family. Dean blinked and stopped abruptly realizing that yes, _he _ had a family. He had decided a few months back to give up hunting but it was harder than he had thought. He was been conditioned to be a hunter and to be absolutely loyal to his father, and dedicated to his brother. Expectations of him were very clear and he knew his father would not let him go easily. John Winchester would look at all angles and Dean was slightly terrified at the prospect of his father finding out what Harry and Kira were. Dean had learned about the wizarding world and his greatest fear was that his father would hurt either of them before he could explain and make his father realize.

Dean was in no was in no way stalling and was just tired of hunting and the idea of it already. Once less hunter out there would not make a difference no matter what his father thought. And he didn't believe in heaven so there was no reason for him to give up _his_ happiness for skeptic and often ungrateful people. They could be saved by another hunter. He smile as he reached the hour range from his home, he could almost taste the fresh air and smell of apple pie floating from his house. He realized Kira might not be baking but odds are she was, she was annoyingly seer-ish like that. HIs phone rang and Dean almost felt like crying when he looked at the caller ID. He really, _really_, wanted to go home. He sighed and picked up, "Dad?"

John Winchester wasn't the father of the year material but he knew enough about his sons to know something was wrong. Bobby said the boy was in love and it was making him grow up. He thought Dean was just different but John knew better, something was wrong. "I need you to go and check out a crime scene since you're closer. This scene is fresh and we are more likely to get clues on where the yellow-eyed bastard will head next of where he is going. I need you to check the body and see if there is anything unique about the boy. This isn't his usual type of work." Dean nearly groaned but held it in. "Where am I going?" Dean said, some of the irritation he felt leaking into his voice. The cold voice of his father answered, "Santa Clara, California."

John Winchester heard the sound of screeching tires and silence on the other end. His heart stopped for a minute before he heard Dean muttering about squirrels and hang up.

Dean felt his heart drop and a sinking feeling took up residence in the pit of his stomach. His vision blurred and he realized that tears were falling down his face. He wiped at them angrily and told himself to get a grip. It could be a coincidence and he didn't know anything yet. He fumbled as he reached for the discarded phone and tried to get Harry on his phone. His answer was the sweet voice of his love saying hello and he almost sobbed in relief, when the voice of his love kept on talking and Dean realized it was just a voicemail recording he felt fear once more. He tried again and again until he reached the city. All the while he prayed to a God he had never believed in, "_Please God, please. Let it be anyone else but him.'_

Dean shoved his way through a throng of observers and felt like screaming. He reached the yellow tape and flashed his badge. The tape was lifted at once and he made his was somewhat unsteadily towards the crime scene, heart pounding. He was cut off half way by the lead detective asking himso_ many _questions. He tried to answer but he couldn't make himself form an answer, he had to know. He finally just shoved him and another man away and made his way to the team of CSIs covering the scene. They stepped aside for him and he felt his heart shatter into billions of little shards of glass. Denial poured from his lips and and tears fell in endless waves. He broke down.

Years later when he lay in bed, he pulled out that small photograph marked with signs of affectionate handling. He looked at the proof that once he had, had a home, a family, and the love of his life. When he woke in panic thinking he was forgetting the shape of his little lover's eyes or the way his smile would reach up into his eyes slowly, or the love and devotion he could see reflected back at him, he would reach into his wallet and pull out that picture. He would look back and remember the first of two birthdays he was able to celebrate with the one he loved and those who had come to be family. He smiled bitterly as he remembered what he had and what he lost, using those memories to fuel him as he hunted the yellow eyed demon. And when the demon was gone and he waited for the hell he knew he deserved, he pulled out that same picture and held it close to his heart, tracing every feature of his lover's face and memorizing every moment of that day. And as his time grew closer, he pulled out a slip of paper and looked at it without needing to, knowing the number by heart. He would dial the number and his thumb would linger over the call button, heart hammering in his chest, wondering if he was still welcome. The certainty he had once felt was now a thing of the past and he wanted nothing more than to be brave enough to face the ones who had loved him unconditionally and without expecting anything in return. He wanted to be able to go back to what used to be home and spend the last of his days with people who had accepted him and the ones who would understand the loss and the pain he felt,

having loved his Harry too. Never like him, but they had loved him. They understood. And Sam never would.

And when Dean saw the hellhounds coming for him, ready to tear him to shreds, he let out a bitter laugh. The last thing he saw before hell were dancing emerald eyes and a smile like the sun, filling him with warmth, safety, and love. Tears fell from his eyes, knowing they would never be together again.

_Angels couldn't enter hell._

__End of Shard of Glass__

Thank you for all reading and I hope you all enjoyed this. This is a companion piece so while a lot of this was new some bits are the same for those of you more observant people. The repeated stuff is very little so there. Again, there are mistakes seeing as I don't have a beta. Also, here's some incentive for a beta (yes, I've resorted to bribing...)be my beta and I promise to take any hope or idea you've had for this particular couple and make it come true(or do my best)! Hehee, sound good to anyone?

CriesOfTheFallen


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